


Comfort

by TrueCrossGhoul



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Kind Words, Lots of Crying, M/M, Plot Twist, flower symbolsim, long hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueCrossGhoul/pseuds/TrueCrossGhoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsubaki's family finally comes together to tell him that they accept and love him, just like he has always wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

Sword drawn, I flung myself at Kuro once more. Hopefully, this time, I would actually land a hit on him. He dodged nonchalantly, as if we were a regular person stepping around a puddle. I cursed under my breath as I jumped back to my spot in a tree where I could take a breather. _Why is my fighting style lacking in precision today? Today, of all days? There's no time for this! I need to... to..._

_What is it I was trying to do again?_

Before I understood what was happening, I was already jumping back down from the tree, my sword in hand and ready to slice anyone in my way. Kuro dogged once more, sending prickles of anger down my spine. Before I could turn to face him, he swiftly grabbed my wrist. 

"Wh-" I tried to struggle free of his grasp, but his grip was like iron. Suddenly, He pulled me into a tight hug. "What are you...? 

"Tsubaki, I finally realized why you're acting like this. Well, Mahiru found out and told me, I mean. You're just... upset that none of us acknowledge your existence. That, and the whole C3 thing, but still. I just wanted to let you know that I care about you." Kuro mumbled. "I do, even though you keep trying to kill me and my allies." _Why is he doing this? Is he planning to distract me so someone else can come and kill me? Why? Why why why why WHY?_ "Tsubaki, drop your sword." 

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, ignoring his request. 

"I just want you to stop. I want you to realize that none of us hate you, Tsubaki." 

"Bullshit!" I spat the word. "You don't care about me, nobody does! You're just doing this in hopes that I call off the vampire war!" 

"Look, Tsubaki, obviously I want you to call it off. It'd be a real pain otherwise, but that’s not the reason I'm here right now. I'm here because I understand what you're going through, more or less." Kuro stated. 

"Bullshit! _Again!_ There's no way you understand what I'm going through! You, the one who killed our creator! _Everyone_ knows you!" I yelled, furious. 

"They know me, but they hate me for it. Just because they 'know' me, doesn’t mean that they like me or even talk to me. Even though the rest of the servamps said that they didn't think badly of me after I came back to them after I killed him, none of them even _dared_ to come near me for _years_ after the whole deal ended. I was alone. Sure, they knew my face, but that didn't mean that they made the effort to talk to me." He explained. "I had to deal with the intense regret of not knowing if I made the right irreversible decision, along with the abandonment of everyone I knew and loved." 

"That’s still a different situation! How do you think I feel? The only people I've ever known for my entire life were my subclasses! You had _centuries_ before the vote where you weren't hated! I was held in captivity! My own brothers didn't know who I was until I had to resort to violence!" I fought back. In response, Kuro tightened his grip around me. I kept my arms limp by my sides, refusing to give him even the slightest bit of comfort. 

"Look, Tsubaki, I know that you're hurting, but can you please stop using violence as a method of recognition?" Kuro asked in his usual monotone voice. "We all know who you are now. We all accept you, Tsubaki, even though you keep trying to kill us. We know that you aren't really a bad person." _Seriously? He thinks that_ this _will make me stop?_

"Are you bullshitting me again?" I asked, a hint of disbelieving laughter in my voice. He shook his head and sniffled, a sign that he had begun to cry. Out of happiness? Love? Or perhaps fear? "Hah... So this is for real then? You really believe that I can change?" My heart felt heavy, but I had no idea why. 

"I know you can." Kuro replied in a hoarse voice. At this, I stared up at the sky, closed my eyes, and sighed. A single tear rolled down my cheek, which was soon followed by many more. _Why am I crying?_ Subconsciously, I lightly wrapped my arms around Kuro's waist and buried my face into his shoulder. Without realizing it at first, I began to sob. Sharp intakes of breath made my body shudder as I clung to my brother. Gently, he began rubbing my back in small circles. "It's okay..." He mumbled, obviously new at this whole 'comforting' thing. 

Unable to say anything, I felt my body tremble. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face like waterfalls. I never really tried to stop crying, I suppose. It felt good to have a shoulder to cry on instead of a pillow. _So many nights I've cried alone, not wanting to bother my subclasses. They didn't need to get worried about me or anything, it was easier that way. Kuro actually reached out and made the first move. I felt as though I could trust him, even if it was only for this small moment._

Another body pressed against mine, their arms wrapping around me and Kuro. I poked my head up to see Snow Lily smiling at me. 

"You finally came, I thought you'd never get here." Kuro sniffled. "Where are the others?" 

"They got delayed, but they'll get here soon enough." Lily replied, tears beginning to brim his eyes. "And Tsubaki, I forgive you for what you've done." 

A wave of shame passed over me like a dark cloud above a field. My lip trembled as I looked down. "I-I'm sorry..." 

"We understand." Kuro and Lily said in unison as they released me from the hug. I brought my arm up to my eyes to sop up the tears. Neither of them talked or made any movement as I cried in shame, except Lily put his hand on my shoulder and Kuro rubbed my back gently as he did before. It felt good, really good. The crying, the comforting, even just being around them felt good. _They don't hate me..._

After a few minutes, a noise in the distance told me that my other brothers had come to join in, along with their Eves. They surrounded me and wrapped me in a large group hug, which made me sob even more. This time, however, I wasn't crying alone. I could hear several others crying as well, but I could only identify a few of them. Hyde, who wailed the loudest. Kuro, who quietly sniffled. Hugh, who whimpered. Mahiru, who gritted his teeth and tried to stop himself from bawling. 

Their crying didn't stop for a long time. Surrounded by people who now loved and accepted me, in the center of a group hug, I finally felt happy. For the first time in centuries, I felt genuine happiness. I felt as though I really could change, as though they would begin to accept me. The feeling felt like thousands of butterflies soaring through an open meadow on a warm, sunny day. Like a cozy home with a lit fireplace and soft music. Like red poppies, pink roses, birds of paradise, and bluebell flowers*. Comforting. 

I began to laugh. Not my usual loud, long, scary laugh, but a soft giggle at first. Everyone perked up their heads at the sound and watched. A smile spread across my face, I didn't bother to hide it. 

"Thank you," I grinned wider. "Thank you guys so much...!" 

**-x-**

Gasping, I awoke and sat up in bed, tears staining my cheeks. _no..._ I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, then began to sob. Trying my hardest not to make any noise, I buried my face in my arms. Sakuya stirred beside me, alerting me that I woke him. _He shouldn't need to see me like this._ He yawned once, then sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. 

"What time is it Tsubaki?" He groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. I made no effort to move or even acknowledge him. I just stayed put, visibly shaking, silently sobbing. My heart felt like it weighed ten times more than usual, threatening to crumble at any second. "H-hey... are you alright?" He asked, genuine concern thick in his voice. "Tsubaki?" 

"I...No, but... They don't..." I weakly muttered as I tightened the grip on my knees. 

"Was it a nightmare?" Sakuya asked as he put an arm around me. "You can talk to be about anything, you know." He gently placed a kiss on my head. 

"I just... it's a recurring dream where my brothers... They all come together and," _You don't have to tell him._ "They comfort me. They all come together and tell me that they accept and forgive me. It's really... Ah... happy, I guess. I feel so overwhelmingly happy when I find myself in that dream, but then I wake up and it's all over..." I trailed off, lifted my head up and sighed. 

"I'm sorry... I'm not sure what to say, but I accept you, Tsubaki." He mumbled into my shoulder. "I love you. Even if everyone else in the world is against you, I'll still be by your side." 

I looked up at him, blurred by the tears in my eyes. I turned to face him, then rested my head on his shoulder. In response, he gently rubbed my back, bringing back more memories of the dream. I clutched the back of his shirt and trembled, feeling comforted and vulnerable at the same time. "Thank you..." 

**Author's Note:**

> *Here, have some flower symbolism (from where he felt happy and whatevers)
> 
> red poppies= consolation  
> pink roses= Happiness, Admiration, Sweetness, Gratitude  
> birds of paradise=joy  
> bluebell flowers= constancy, gratitude, everlasting love
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! If you want to get ahold of me for requests, questions, etc. you can message me on my tumblr(s): @TrueCrossGhoul & @nekopiree


End file.
